我說，要讓自己永遠記得

I am awake during my sleep, and I'm comatic while I'm awake...
Since I agreed that you're no longer a part of my life


My room was enveloped with the scent of your perfume,
but now it's filled with only the smell of my sweat from having endless bad dreams...
There's this big space inside me to be filled, time to be spent, meals to be shared by two
and now only consumed by a sheer emptiness
that slowly, and assurely, corrodes, dissipate
this fast condescending.... ME

I know I'm suppose to move on,
but each day I feel that I'm running, tossing, rolling, limping in this cue-de-sac of
spaceless, memory-filled standstill that moves nowhere
Only into the past, where things, used to be wonderful,
and I can call you whenever I want,
and you call me to remind me to have lunch,
and I plan our time for the weekend,
and you take your time to dress before we both go out for lunch
or walk in the park
or late night spent in the bookstore
always comfortable slipping into the camouflage of a crowd, not being noticed,
and yet always gleaming because we have one another...

and then...
I can hold you to sleep, to be your guardian from all the bad dreams
I can wake next to you, always after you
always from a kiss and your smell that scents the room...

I know I'm suppose to move on,
but I'd rather be here, with you....